Beyond The Holders
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Holder of Ghetto
Holder of Ghetto
In any city, in any country, go to any King Burger establishment you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to order a number three with no cheese, no lettuce, and no tomato. The worker should be on her phone, speaking with her “gurl” about cutting someone named Marcus for apparently hooking up with a girl named Tracy. Upon hearing your request, she should say something along the lines of “Don't Interrupt! Rue!” If, instead of this, she calls “Sakurity” to take you away, give up all hope of gaining the object and accept your inevitable demise.
Once the worker is finished with her call, she should turn to you and say “Welcome to King Burger where we can do it your way, but don't get crazy.” If she does or says anything else, pray that your death at the hands of the enraged demon thugs who've been watching you this entire time will be quick and painless, although it most definitely won’t be.
Once she says this, you must repeat your order exactly as you had requested it earlier, or your fate will be so horrible and painful that the denizens of hell will look at you with pity and say “daaaaaamn blood, they fucked yo shit UP!” At this, the worker should shout into the mic “I got a complicated order” then proceed to read your order back. You must, and this is important, must interrupt her before she has a chance to finish, causing her to yell ” Um, excummie Sir, don't you see me trying to put in an order? Don't interrupt: Rue.”
At this, you must indicate that you’ve changed your mind about the cheese. By this point, the worker will seem to go insane, going on a frenzied tirade against you which would shatter most seekers’ sanity in mere seconds. You must persevere, or suffer through listening to her ramble on for all eternity before your ears eventually decide to detonate themselves, forming two large, identical craters in your brain.
At the end of her tirade, the worker must call for “Sakurity” to escort you out of the building. Do not fight this. This alone would be enough to reduce most seekers to tears as they mentally recap the stress inflicted on them for nothing, but all hope is not lost. Look to your feet – you will find a discarded bag of half-eaten super-sized onion rings.
This bag of onion rings is Object 3 of 8 ninety-nine cent menu items. Do you have the fortitude to order again?
Categories: | Parodies |
|Last modified on 2010-06-25 18:54:06Average Rating: 5 / 5 (1 votes)Viewed 9692 times|