Holder of Ragnarök Online


In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house (or just any internet cafe) in which you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Ragnarök Online". A "don't bother me" look will return your request and with a scowl, the person manning the front desk will say "wait a minute" and then type a few words on the keyboard he/she is using. After which, he/she will brusquely say "follow me".

You will be taken down a hallway filled with glass doors, in front of which, chairs have been strangely placed. The doors seem to open to nowhere, as they are black as night. The guide will seat you in one of the chairs and then press a button that you have not noticed and he/she will say "please wait until it is ready". You wait. And wait. In what seemed to be an eternity but was only a minute on your watch, you stare at the blackness. Then the door opens.

On the other side, the world suddenly shifts and all vision smears into white. You find yourself in the middle of an avenue of a busy medieval city.

Your feet will take you to a girl wearing a white apron over a dark brown blouse with short, puffy sleeves. As you approach, she takes out her handkerchief from her white apron and wipes her glasses before facing you.

Ask her the question, "what is it all about".

Incongruously, she will begin to sing, in a melodic style from a long time ago, of a deep yearning for things that are not. The song will tell stories of heroes and villains and everything in-between. It will rise high to the mountain peaks guarded by dragons and dive deep beneath the ocean waves where strange creatures dwell. It will describe caves and crypts filled with restless dead and demons waiting to devour all who enter. It will describe a tower built to the memory of an ancient hero filled with sentient fragments of that hero's shattered soul, defenders of that ancient relic.

As she sings, you also hear a male voice speaking into your ear. You turn but you do not see the speaker. His voice is sweet as honey and smooth as silk. He speaks as if he is your best friend with your best interest in mind. He speaks of wealth and riches and power in this world. He whispers conspiringly of the awe such things bring to those who behold them. He wonders how your friends and fellows will marvel at these objects and marvel at you, the master and owner of these rarities.

The girl wearing the white apron pauses her singing as she pierces someone behind you with a glare. Then she continues.

The song continues, telling of battles, sacrifices and trials, woven with sweet threads of fellowship as well as the bitter wires of betrayal. Finally, the song concludes about honor and dishonor, and about mirrors and masks.

As the girl falls silent, the male voice returns. In the same smooth, sweet tone, he promises you everything this world has to offer, so much wonder, so much wealth, so much power. In return, for nothing is free, a very, very small price to pay: you must bow down before him and worship him. It is only a game after all, your seeming best friend reasons.

The girl keeps silent as she hands you a crystal slate with a simple message glowing on it:

"Is the truth within?"

That crystal slate is object number xxx. The path you choose is up to you.

Categories: | Parodies |

Last modified on 2008-08-21 23:15:24Viewed 4755 times

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