Holder of the Note


In any city, in any country, go to any high school you can get yourself to. When you reach the front lawn, if you are (un)lucky, you will see a black notebook fall from the sky. If this does not happen, then.. oh well. Go home, you will never find the notebook. If you do see this notebook fall from the sky, pick it up and try to read the words written on the back of it. Many men have gone insane at this point, and if you manage to survive the excruciatingly long process of reading the 11 words inscribed there, with your sanity intact, take it home with you.

Now that you are in the possession of this black notebook, and in the safety of your room, turn on the television to the closest news station. There will be a hostage situation at another school near you. Write the name of the terrorist in the notebook when they show his face, and wait 40 seconds. If you do this right, students will start to run out of the building, exclaiming the terrorist's death. If you do something wrong, the eternal torment you'd face in Hell would be a breezy summer's day compared to the nightmarish terror that multiple gunshots will inflict upon you. You can neither go to Heaven nor Hell.

Should you turn around and see a figure wearing black clothing, hunched over in mid-air with bulging eyes who introduces himself as Ryuk, you must first fall off your chair screaming like a complete bitch. Then you must respond, in a disinterested tone: "I'm not surprised to see you Ryuk. In fact, I've been waiting for you" If you have spoken these words correctly, the figure will laugh and feast on an apple your mom brought you. If not, pray your death is swift and heart-related.

If you are still alive after all of this, the Object is yours. It is 1337 of 2538. It will kill any human you write in its pages in 40 seconds, so long as you have their face in mind. However, you will not be able to go to neither Heaven nor Hell when you die. But hey, fuck it, you're the God of the new world.

The note is Object 1337 of 538. Beware, They are now looking for you, killer.

Categories: | Parodies |

Last modified on 2009-07-05 07:23:23Average Rating: 2.33 / 5 (3 votes)Viewed 4291 times

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