Beyond The Holders
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The Holder of Bad Wolf
In any hospital in any city in any country- well okay, not ANY country. It has to be Britain cause nothing cool happens to America. To tell you the truth it can't be any city either. You pretty much get to pick between London or Cardiff. Sorry. But it can be any hospital if it makes you feel better. Where was I? Oh, Yeah:
In any Hospital in Cardiff or London in England or wherever - hell, I don't really give a shit - approach the front desk and ask for "The Holder of Bad Wolf." The woman, oh yeah, it should be a woman, because if it's a man, then you're at the wrong place. I KNOW I said "any" ,but it's really not "any", it's more like a select few. Yeah, it has to be a woman, and she has to be a blond. And she has to an older girl. Not like 40 or 50 by any means, but like late 20s, early 30s- Oh, wait, I lost my place- oh, wait, there we go.
The woman at the counter will look at you in disbelief, then repeat the phrase "Bad Wolf." She will proceed to give your face a good squeeze. As if trying to see with her hands. Let her do so, for if you attempt to stop her, well... hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. When she stops she will ask you a question. "Why did you leave me?" Tears may fill her eyes. You must look at her and tell her that you had no other choice. You must lightly smile at her and remind her of "That time with RoboCop." She'll look at you and smile back. She may ask you a question involving how many times you've come back. Look at her more seriously and say "Over 9000" (or "1337" - either one works). She'll then look at you and ask "Does this mean I can come back?" You must look at her and sadly shake your head, or say "no". She may ask you why you bother coming back; ignore this, and instead turn and walk away.
When you get back to your mode of transportation you will find a German Orifical Forges black leather jacket in your seat.
This black leather jacket is object Duh of 538. It'll fetch a nice price on Ebay.
Categories: | Parodies |
|Last modified on 2012-10-15 03:59:08Average Rating: 5 / 5 (1 votes)Viewed 6154 times|