The Holder of Nonsense


For the next step in your quest, make a post on any internet forum with the subject “I WISH TO SPEAK TO THE HOLDER OF NONSENSE, PRETTY PLEASE.” If you are posting in the right place, your computer will shut down once you click the “post” button and not boot up for an hour. When it does, instead of the normal logos of the maker of your computer, there will be an undecipherable symbol that flickers for a moment, then disappears.

When your computer finishes starting up, everything will appear normal, but when you open your web browser, all of your bookmarks will be gone, and no matter what you type into the address bar, it will take you to a website that appears to be an internet forum, but all of the posts are filled with garbage. Some are utterly incomprehensible, some almost make sense, and some have images that will drive you into madness. You must browse this forum, without food or drink, rest or relaxation, for two days straight. Glancing away for even an instant will make you see the monsters that have appeared in your room, and they will set upon you with such ferocity that the instant you have before you die will feel like an eternity of pain. Do not worry that you will run out of posts, there will be millions of pages.

Once the two days have passed a “make new post” icon will appear where there was nothing. You must click it. In the subject line put the first five words that came into your head after you clicked on the button. In the post body simply put “Where is the pattern?” Immediately afterwards, a reply will be posted into your post. It will tell you the true reason behind every part of the internet. The purpose behind every stupid meme, every funny video, every cute animal picture, and every whimsical website will be burned into your brain. Your computer will then shut down and it will be safe to look away, Go do what you will, eat, drink, sleep if you can, but three days afterwards, a package will be delivered to your door. Inside will be a small portable VHS.

This VHS is object ghjfycdstgjhfdyghgm of 2538. It has all the nonsense in the world in it, if you know how to find it.

Categories: | Parodies |



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Last modified on 2012-10-03 08:58:50Viewed 5316 times

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