The Holder of Parodies/Discussion


It's like just like Mad Libs. -TallHomunculus

The Holder of Rat Nipples



In any city, in any country, go into a Chuck-e-cheese's. Sitting at the front desk will be a big toe, approach with a disinterest, and ask to see "The Holder of Rat Nipples". The clerk will then eat a banana. Do not look at them, instead, GENTLEMEN :(=)and move towards the exit. If you make it to the door without hearing a sound, consider yourself lucky. If you hear a squelching, turn back. The clerk will now be on your side of the desk. Offer your own hand, he or she will take it, and lead down a corridor.

As you walk down the hall, the clerk will release your hand and grab your ass. You will know you are close, when you start to hear a elefant trumpeting it's hron. If the noises cease, quickly say fuckity fuck mc. phuckerson, if they resume, you are safe.

If you reach the end of the hall without being evicersated by razor-sharp crab talons, their spines barbed and covered in poisonous acid to that the wound, once cut, hisses and spreads, opening a large gash through which your entrails may exit and be consumed by the crab that cut you, its mouth-pincers clacking delightedly as it sucks down your small intestine like so much bratwurst. you will meet a scultpure consisting of an erotic painting of a male, a dildo, and a porno tape.(Get it? 32%, *animated* penises?) Now ask them "How much would would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" he will reply by "He would chuck forty RAAAAAPPEEE@~!~s OMGROFLROFL!" and hand you. A rat's nipple. You will wake up outside the establishment.


The Rat's nipple is object 800 of over nine thousand . Gelatain stalks at midnight.

Oh, wow, it's hard to deliberately mispell and mess up :-/ --Sysop

Oh shi-- This is awesome. This might become something beautiful. I HAVE SEEN THE TRUTH. -Damascus

Seconded. I'm enjoying this deeply.
-Edeatsyourface

I like the "the rest of us will insert Jack into it to make it better" line. Because we all know that if it don't got Jack it ain't worth jack.-Torodugoru

Oh, Torodugoru, what a hillarious post you made. You are hansom and your characters are excellent.

Sincerly,
Not-Torodugoru

Why thank you, Not-Me. I am better than all off. Kiss-kiss-Torodugoru

"better than all off"? What's that supposed to mean?- Notatalltorodugoru

Shut-up! What happened to your quiet affirmations! You suck!-Torodugoru

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?-Damascus

The Holder of Bananas



In any city, in any country, go into a occult bookstore. Sitting at the front desk will be an echidna in the process of laying an egg, approach with a visage of sexual disappointment, and ask to see "The Holder of Bananas". The clerk will then not say anything because said clerk is an echidna. Do not look at them, instead, grab the echidna, scrunch your face up and shout "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-", cutting off in the middle of your scream and move towards the exit. If you make it to the door without hearing a sound, consider yourself lucky. If you hear the Road Warrior queef from that episode of South Park, turn back. The clerk will now be on your side of the desk. Offer your own hand, he or she will take it, and lead down a corridor. Correction: the clerk is an echidna, so instead will bark at you and totter off down the hall, unfortunately leaving its unhatched child on the desk. Follow it.

As you walk down the hall, the clerk will release your hand and fuck you roughly in the anus-hole (note: I didn't actually search "Gay Homo Man"). You will know you are close, when you start to hear teh goranin of a veri mescalin-sonding womon in the throws of secks If the noises cease, quickly say "RAAARGH I AM A FUCKING DINOSAUR FUCK", if they resume, you are safe.

If you reach the end of the hall without being injected full of "Super-AIDS" and being afflicted by what can only be accurately described as "nuclear diarrhea" you will meet 32% of a bouncing penis Now ask them "Did you know that 86% of all statistics are made up on the spot?" he will reply with "Did you know that 100% of all the Seekers who come to me get savagely raped? It's true, OMGROFL!" I don't need to tell you what happens next. Suddenly, BANANAS, THOUSANDS OF THEM!. You will wake up outside the establishment.


The banana is object 42,000,001 of 2538 . A slaughter a day keeps the voices away.

The end...? -Damascus


Lol wow, I love these. -Arca

"A slaughter a day keeps the voices away." ... I do believe I'll be borrowing that. --Sysop

Thanks. :D Anyone else want to give the Holder of Mad Libs a shot? -Damascus

I think I'll have a go at this.

'>The Holder of Gutsman's Ass



In any city, in any country, go into a robot museum. Sitting at the front desk will be a hyperactive, crack-addicted wallaby. Approach with a seductive swagger to your hips and ask to see "The Holder of Gutsman's Ass". The clerk will then comment on how Gutsman's Ass has no crack, and will start to wail at the lack thereof. Do not look at them, instead, smash your scouter while shouting at the top of your lungs, "IT'S OVER 9000!!!!" and move towards the exit. If you make it to the door without hearing a sound, consider yourself lucky. If you hear a fart with the power to tear asunder Zeus, the Universe, teh Mudkipz, and Rick Astley, turn back. The clerk will now be on your side of the desk. Offer your own hand, he or she will take it, and lead down a corridor (provided he doesn't search your ass-crack for crack instead).

As you walk down the hall, the clerk will release your hand and remark on how sexy and rapable your ass is. You will know you are close when you start to hear "nevar!11!! i shal nevar give u my awzomez ass!1!!!one" If the noises cease, quickly say "Then fuck mine, O Great One, and fuck it as long as you wish to fuckety fuck fuck.", if they resume, you are safe (unless your wallaby guide thinks you're talking to it, in which case, sucks to be you, pal).

If you reach the end of the hall without being horrifically ass-raped by the massive penises of all the zombies ever, especially Brad Vickers, you will meet Where's Dildo, that little striped penis-guy from that one Leisure Suit Larry game. Now ask them "can I haz gutzman's azz?" he will reply by raping your ass with his own mighty ass, during which point you will realize that being ass-raped by Gutsman's Ass, while indeed ironic, is also the best sexual encounter you have ever had and will ever hope to have. Oh, and OMGROFL! and hand you. A replica of the almighty Gutsman's Ass, though you'll never get the same satisfaction out of it as you did with the real thing.. You will wake up outside the establishment.


The Gutsman' Ass (replica) is object twenty thousand infinity out of twenty thousand infinity plus one. The ass calleth. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated (and promptly ass-raped).

-- MisterVercetti

Love it. Maybe we should put these somewhere, any ideas? -Arca
Last modified on 2009-07-29 15:55:34Viewed 2088 times

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