Beyond The Holders
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The Holder of Poop
In any city, in any country, go to the nearest public toilet, go into the men's room if you are a man or the woman's room if you are a woman, if you do not do this nothing much will really happen but anyone in the toilet will think you are some kind of pervert.
Go into one of the cubicles, stare down at the toilet and ask to see the one who calls themselves "The Holder of Poop" the toilet will not respond to your question, it is an inanimate object, however, if it does answer you back then I seriously want some of what you are smoking.
Exit the cubicle, you should be in a long hallway covered in dirty, white ceramic tiles and doors to toilet cubicles, if you see a sign that says "occupied" DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR or you will suffer a horrific fate worse than any fucked up scat porn video you've seen on the internet, no seriously, it's gonna get nasty, the occupied cubicles contain the tormented souls of former seekers who were inconsiderate enough to open a cubicle while someone was trying to 'pass the beast in peace', they are now damned to forever strain on the toilet in a futile attempt to 'relieve themselves'.
As you walk down the hallway you will constantly hear the sound of toilets flushing, if at any point the noise stops simply sing at the top of your lungs "hey Mr. Wiener, what do you know, need to tinkle tinkle?" if the flushing sound does not resume then prepare yourself to take part in the sequel to 2 Girls 1 Cup for eternity, however if the flushing sound resumes then continue on your merry way.
You will eventually come to the one door that does not say "occupied", you will still have to knock, just in case someone was retarded enough not to lock the door after going in to take a dump, after you knock four times you will either hear someone straining, followed by the squelch of excrement exiting their bowels, if this happens turn around and exit as this has all been a complete waste of time. However, if you don't get any response after about ten seconds you may open the door.
When you enter you will be in a large, round hall, on the other side of this room will be a large, circular frame with a hairy ass protruding from it, this is The Holder of Poop, it will only respond to one question: "do you need toilet paper?", the ass will then speak, how it does is beyond me, last time I checked asses don't have vocal chords.
It will go into great disturbing detail about all the greatest shits taken by humanity, you will feel like vomiting but you must resist, if you vomit the ass will swallow you up.
After the ass has finished talking about shit it will then ripple as a bright brown, shiny turd emerges from between the cheeks, once it hits the ground the ass will let out a giant fart, knocking you out.
you will wake up sitting on the toilet in the cubicle you started in. In your hand will be the poop that the ass released.
This is object 20,000,000 of 538, keep it, it may come in usefu-- actually no! drop it! that's shit you dirty bastard!
Categories: | Parodies |
|Last modified on 2013-04-20 10:47:33Average Rating: 5 / 5 (1 votes)Viewed 3827 times|