The Holder of The Holder

In any city or country, except for North Korea, go to any bathroom. In the bathroom, scream, "Shut up and take my money!". Then wash your hands 456789123 times. Once you do this, close the door and pee on your hands. An emerald and a hedgehog will appear out of nowhere. Right when the hedgehog is about to touch the emerald, yell, in a stern voice, "DON'T TOUCH IT!!!" If you don't in time, RUN. Jump out the nearest window and run to find your mortal enemy. Ask them, "Do you know what I'm talking about?", then take their nose and step on it. If your enemy does not have a nose, then GOOD LUCK trying to survive. Otherwise, wait exactly 11 seconds and 669 milliseconds before grabbing the emerald. Make sure you grab it at the speed of light. Then, take a bath or shower. You will come out and see that there are three emeralds around. Grab one, break another one, and eat the third one. You will have 2 minutes to do this. If you hear a scream, yell, "Hello, I'm Barney the Dinosaur!". If the scream comes back, you are safe. If not, try to break your head with the emerald. After you finish with the emeralds, the bathroom door will have a seizure. Step over it and you will find a man holding a baby. He will only respond to two questions.
1. "What in the name of carbon monoxide are doing?!?!"
2. "Is your power level over 9000?"
Ask either question.
If the baby laughs, you are damned.
If the baby cries, your eyeballs will fall out.
If the baby turns into a demon, you are clear.
The demon will pick up the man and give it to you.
You will wake up in an oven. Get the hell out the oven and into the nearest 7-11. Ask for over 9000 Slurpees.
You will get a golden Slurpee. Grab the Slurpee and throw it at the clerk. Leave the store and hug the man in your hands. You will find your self in front of a Walmart. You are free.

The man is object -888 out of 538. Will you be able to eat an emerald when the time comes?

Categories: | Parodies |

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Last modified on 2012-04-04 15:20:42Average Rating: 5 / 5 (1 votes)Viewed 6012 times

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