Beyond The Holders
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The Holder of the Page Title That Was Clearly Far Too Long To Be Taken Seriously
Go to the nearest refrigerator or 7/11 and approach the first transsexual Chinese prostitute you see. Demand to speak to the "Holder of the Page Title That Was (hold on, page 2 on my cell phone) Clearly Far Too Long To Be Taken Seriously." Afterward she will smile, grab your hand, and pull you outside of the store. If she forces your hand down to grab her junk, GET OUT BRO. If she bends over though, and balls don't touch, it's okay as long as you use protection.
She will require about a hundred dollars. If you haven't done so, get a penicillin shot and make sure to bottle a fairy - they make great back-up items when your defenses are down. She will take you out back of the building and will start stripping off her clothes (if they aren't off already). Immediately shoot her in the face after having possibly homoerotic sexual intimacy prior, and proceed directly to committing acts of sodomy with her asshole (if you have questionable judgment regarding necrophiliac behavior, make sure you shoot yourself in the head - you were good for nothing anyway).
Once finished, an egg will pop out of her ass. Grab the egg and proceed to get it surgically constructed into your bowels. Congratulations! You now have the Sphincter Tickler. Unfortunately, you now have AIDS, but it's okay, at least you had promiscuous sex and violently murdered a rather attractive transsexual prostitute because you accidentally read the wrong information on what you should be Seeking.
Also, sodomy is a major risk factor for contracting sexually transmitted diseases - consult your nearest Holder of Death or semi-automatic handgun for best results in worst case scenarios, as the madness of dick bleeding may leave you too helpless to get a call from either.
You obtained object ???? out of 538, which just so happened to be nothing more than a myriad of bad news, STDs, and violent crime, which more than likely will lead to your imprisonment in a physical prison against your will.
Categories: | Parodies |
|Last modified on 2012-10-07 06:22:17Average Rating: 3 / 5 (1 votes)Viewed 7897 times|